Dear Aunty: How to Find the Courage to Stop Living a Life That Was Never Yours

Dear Aunty

I'm going back and forth with my faith, sowing seeds of doubt and reaping the harvest of a false life that will not end well, because spiritually I am not grounded. I have allowed myself to believe that as long as I show up every day for this false life I can turn it around — but I am realizing more and more every day that it is harder and harder to achieve what I actually want for my life. I am looking for the event. I am looking for some advice on how to be brave and have the courage to stand up for myself and really pursue the life I want instead of the safe option that is going to lead to heartbreak. Dear Aunty, what do I do?

— Signed, Life's Coward

Aunty's Response

First thing — strike that signature. You are not a coward. A coward never asks the question you just asked. A coward stays comfortable in the lie and calls it peace. You sat down, looked your life in the face, and told the truth about it. That is not cowardice. That is the beginning of everything.

Now let me tell you what I see.

You are trying to water a plastic plant and wondering why it won't grow. You cannot turn around a false life, baby. You can only dismantle it and make room for what is real. Every day you show up for a version of yourself that does not exist, you are planting another seed of doubt. And doubt grows fast. It is one of the most aggressive things you can put in the ground. Left untended it will take over the whole garden — and that is exactly what has happened here.

You said you are not spiritually grounded. I want you to sit with why. You cannot find your center when you are standing in someone else's shoes. Spiritual grounding does not come from a building you attend or a ritual you perform. It comes from the moment your inner truth and your outer life are finally saying the same thing. Right now they are speaking two completely different languages — and your soul is exhausted from translating.

Here is my straight talk.

You are waiting for the event. Some big thunderbolt from the sky that gives you permission to finally be brave. I need you to hear me clearly: that event is not coming. Bravery is not an event. It is a series of small honest breaths taken in the direction of your real life. Courage is not the absence of fear — it is doing the right thing while your knees are shaking.

Every time you said yes when your spirit was screaming no, you planted a seed of doubt. Every time you chose the safe option over the soulful one, you watered it. And now you are standing in the harvest of all those yeses — and none of it feels like yours. Because it is not.

Here is what you need to understand. The safe option is not actually safe. There is no such thing as a safe lie. When you choose comfort over truth you are not avoiding heartbreak — you are scheduling it for later. And the longer you wait, the more it costs you.

What would it look like to choose one true thing today? Not the whole new life. Not the grand exit. Just one thing that is honest. One conversation you have been avoiding. One boundary you have been pretending you do not need. One desire you have been shrinking because it felt too big or too inconvenient for the people around you.

Start there. The energy it takes to maintain a false life is the same energy you could be using to build your real one. You are spending yourself on a harvest you do not even want. Redirect that energy. One honest breath at a time.

Your faith did not leave you. You left it. And the moment you stop performing and start participating in your real life — it will be right there waiting. It has been there the whole time.

The heartbreak of leaving the false is temporary. The heartbreak of staying in it forever is a different thing entirely.

Choose yourself, baby. The real you has been waiting long enough.

This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional for matters related to your health and wellbeing.

Soul Tribe Media | Soultribe.media | May 2026

Collective Soul Tribe Lesson

Soultribe, this letter is for all of us who have ever stayed somewhere — a job, a relationship, a version of ourselves — because it felt safer than the truth.

There is no safe lie. There never was. When we choose the comfortable option over the courageous one, we do not avoid pain — we just push it further down the road and let it grow interest.

Real grounding does not come from stability. It comes from integrity. It comes from the moment what you are living on the outside finally matches what you know on the inside.

If any part of you recognized yourself in this letter today — that recognition is your seed. Do not ignore it. Do not scroll past it. Sit with it. Ask it what it needs. And then have the courage to plant something real.

The Soultribe was not built for comfort. It was built for truth.

Mantra

Aham

Mantra Aham Kartaa, Aham Bhoktaa — Bijam Mein, Phal Mein

Pronunciation: AH-hum KAR-taa, AH-hum BHOK-taa — BEE-jum MAIN, PHAL MAIN

Meaning: I am the planter, I am the reaper — the seed is mine, the harvest is mine.

Practice: Speak this mantra every morning before your feet hit the floor. Say it three times with intention. Let it remind you before the day begins that everything you are about to think, say, and do is a seed. Choose accordingly.

Speak this three times in the morning when you rise and three times at night before you rest. Say it with intention, not just words. Let it shift your mindset and anchor your faith in your own journey.

Affirmation

"I release what I have built in unconsciousness. I now plant with purpose, with intention, and with the full knowing that my harvest begins with me."