Dear Aunty: I Did Everything Right, So Where Is God in My Struggle?
Dear Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I did everything they told me to do. I went to college, got the degree, and got the job. I bought the house. I tithe, I pray, and I show up for people. I believed that if I stayed faithful and worked hard, I would be okay.
But I'm not okay. The student loans are still here, the house needs repairs I can't afford, and last month I checked my bank balance before I bought groceries. I pray, and it feels like my prayers hit the ceiling. I'm starting to wonder if I did something wrong, or if God just isn't listening to me anymore.
Where is God when you did everything right and you're still stuck?
— Signed, The One Who Did Everything Right
Aunty's Response
Here's the one thing I can recognize, sweetheart. A lot of times, we get comfortable keeping up with all the things in our lives.
Now, you mentioned the student loans. You got the degree, you bought the house, but the student loans are still here, the house needs repairs, and you feel like you can't afford it. All of those things falling apart around you are direct reflections of what is falling apart within you.
Somewhere in you, do you feel like a failure? Do you feel like you failed yourself and others, because you did it exactly right and you expected a cushy life if you followed the steps? But what if the cushy life was never the objective? What if the objective was simply to know yourself, and this is just part of the journey? So often we want to get to the conclusion, and we miss the journey.
So yes, you did it. You went to school. You did it right. You got educated. Now you've got to become uneducated. You bought the house. You tithed, and now you feel like God is turning on you.
But what have you noticed about everyone who is called to a greater service to humanity? Their lives are always shaken, rattled, and rolled for such a time as this. You cannot expect to enjoy the comforts that come with this kind of spiritual walk, with greater understanding, awareness, and evolution, while holding on to the delusion you allowed yourself to live in, the one that kept you asleep. That's never going to happen. Your paradigm has to fall apart so it can show you who you really are. And then you get to build.
It's okay if everything is falling apart. That's okay. That's part of life. I don't understand why we condemn people for having a human experience. Everything you said you're going through right now is a human experience, and I am giving you permission to sit in it. It's okay that these things are happening.
Now we know these things are happening, and we know we can't stay there. So how do we move the needle? Not with a big, huge jump, but with a small jump that at least makes you feel like you're making progress.
Number one, I would definitely recommend you get your student loans on a payment plan. Definitely get your student loans on a payment plan.
As far as home repairs are concerned, I am a homeowner, and I know that shit is hard. I make no qualms about it. But if that means you have to go to YouTube University and figure out how to do some of these repairs yourself to save money, then that's just what we're going to have to do. You can't have the lifestyle without the responsibility. I understand it's wonderful to be able to hire someone to do everything, but sometimes we've got to do it ourselves.
Now, grocery bills. Here's what I've learned. The best thing you can do for your groceries is meal prep. Put in front of you what you will eat for the week, and only buy what you will eat that week. Keep certain things in stock, like spaghetti sauce or taco sauce, some kind of meat, pastas, grains, rice, and bread. The things you know cost more, buy those in moderation. Meal prepping will do wonders.
I'm telling you, sweetheart, where there's a will, there's a way. All you've got to do is calm down and give yourself the opportunity to find the way, because spiraling out of control is not the way either.
The truth of the matter is, everybody has hard times. And baby, this is just you paying your dues. Everybody's got to pay their dues. My grandmother used to say, "You're going to pay on the front end, or you're going to pay on the back end, but you're going to pay." Why? Because you have to pay your dues. This is just you paying yours.
And within that paradigm comes a paradigm shift that brings you either to a stronger you or to a more debilitated you. That is a choice you get to make.
I say all that to say, now is the time for you to see who you really are and rise to the occasion, to come up out of this. Because only cowards tuck tail and run. Only cowards give up on themselves. Only cowards. And I need you to understand, a shift in direction does not mean you have failed. A shift in direction means you've been guided.
I hope this has filled your cup. Peace and love, y'all.
— Aunty Charmaine
This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional for matters related to your health and wellbeing.
Soul Tribe Media | Soultribe.media | Oct 2026
Collective Soul Tribe Lesson
Soultribe, so many of us were handed a promise: do everything right, and life will be easy. When that promise breaks, we turn on ourselves, and we start asking, "Where is God in my struggle?" But falling apart is not failing. It's often the moment the old story ends so the real you can show up. This week, I want you to stop condemning yourself for having a human experience. Sit in it, then take one small step. One payment plan. One repair you learn to do yourself. One week of meals planned. Small steps still move the needle. We're all paying our dues in some way, and none of us has to pay them alone.
My grandmother carried two generations on her back, and I learned that love can hold a family, but only a tribe can lift one. Many hands rise.
Practice: Speak this proverb every morning before your feet hit the floor. Say it three times with intention. Let it remind you before the day begins that everything you are about to think, say, and do is a seed. Choose accordingly.
Speak this in the morning when you rise and at night before you rest. Say it with intention, not just words. Let it shift your mindset and anchor your faith in your own journey.
Affirmation
"I am no longer afraid of drowning, because I have learned how to swim. I am not afraid of my life. I am right at home in it.
So blessed be."
(Repeat daily 8x — 8 is the numerology of wealth)
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