Dear Aunty: How Do I Break Free From a Poverty Mindset and Own My Peace?

Dear Aunty

I come from a family who has always experienced financial instability. My great-great-grandmother grew up in poverty. She then had my great-grandmother who grew up in poverty, and then she had my grandmother who grew up in poverty, and my grandmother had my mother and they also grew up in poverty. I have now joined a union, a lovely relationship where my partner is very free-flowing and financially, emotionally, and mentally healthy, but I struggle with a poor person's mindset. I don't know how to overcome these challenges as this has felt like a generational curse. What do I do in this scenario, as I can tell my spouse is getting tired of my poor person's way of thinking?

— Signed, Financially Strained

Aunty's Response

Before we go any further, I need you to take a deep breath and feel the floor beneath your feet. Really feel it. Because what you are carrying right now is not just a mindset. It is a hundred years of survival. And before we talk about changing it, we are going to honor it — because that heavy thing you are dragging was once a suit of armor that kept your bloodline alive.

Your great-great-grandmother did not have the luxury of abundance thinking. She needed to stay small, stay careful, and hold tight to every scrap because the alternative was devastation. And she passed that survival code down to her daughter, who passed it to hers, who passed it to yours, who passed it to you. Not out of cruelty. Out of love. Out of the only wisdom they had available to them.

But here is the truth you need to hear now: you are not in that kitchen anymore. You have been invited to a feast and you are still hiding crackers in your pockets.

Let me be specific about what is happening here. The way you think about money — the clutching, the bracing, the waiting for the other shoe to drop — that is not your personality. That is an inherited rhythm. A cycle that has been turning in your family for so long that it feels like who you are. It is not who you are. It is what you learned. And what was learned can be unlearned. What was inherited can be returned.

Here is my straight talk.

You said your partner is getting tired. I believe you. And I want you to understand what they are actually experiencing. It is not about the money. It is about the energy. When you live inside a scarcity mindset you are sending out a constant signal that says the abundance in front of you cannot be trusted. That the good things are temporary. That safety is a lie and comfort is a trap. Your partner is not tired of your past — they are tired of watching you refuse the present.

You are trying to live a new life with an old instruction manual. And those two things are in direct conflict with each other every single day.

Here is what I want you to practice. When the clutching feeling comes — and it will come — I want you to stop and ask yourself one question: Whose fear is this? Is this mine or did I inherit it? Because nine times out of ten when you trace it back you will find it did not originate with you. It originated four generations ago in a kitchen that no longer exists with a woman who did the best she could with what she had.

Honor her. Thank her. And then make a different choice.

Start small. When your partner offers you something — a gift, an experience, a moment of ease — practice receiving it without guilt. Without the automatic flinch. Without the mental calculation of what it is going to cost you later. Receiving is not recklessness. It is trust. And trust is the seed your family line has never had the safety to plant.

You are the first one. That is not a burden — that is a calling. You are the generation that gets to break the rhythm. You are the one who gets to show the ones who come after you what it looks like to live in abundance without apology.

Stop being a tenant in a house that was condemned four generations ago. You do not live there anymore. Open your hands. You cannot hold a new life if you are still gripping the old struggle.

The table is set and the grace has been said. Stop acting like a beggar at your own banquet.

This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional for matters related to your health and wellbeing.

Soul Tribe Media | Soultribe.media | May 2026

Collective Soul Tribe Lesson

Soultribe, this one is for all of us.

We all carry ancestral anchors — beliefs and behaviors our people held onto just to survive. Whether it is a poverty mindset, a fear of being seen, a habit of shrinking, or a distrust of good things — these are not character flaws. They are inherited survival codes. And they served a purpose once.

But here is what I need the Soultribe to understand today: gratitude for your ancestors' survival does not require you to repeat their suffering. The greatest honor you can give to the people who came before you is to finally be the one who gets to live well.

Abundance is not a number in a bank account. It is a frequency. It is a way of moving through the world that says I trust what is here. I receive what is good. I do not brace for the loss of what I have not yet lost.

You are allowed to have the feast. You are allowed to sit at the table with your whole chest out. That is not betrayal. That is breakthrough. And your ancestors — the ones who scrimped and saved and prayed for something better — they were praying for you to get here.

Get here. Stay here. Let it be good.

Mantra

Aham

Mantra Aham Kartaa, Aham Bhoktaa — Bijam Mein, Phal Mein

Pronunciation: AH-hum KAR-taa, AH-hum BHOK-taa — BEE-jum MAIN, PHAL MAIN

Meaning: I am the planter, I am the reaper — the seed is mine, the harvest is mine.

Practice: Speak this mantra every morning before your feet hit the floor. Say it three times with intention. Let it remind you before the day begins that everything you are about to think, say, and do is a seed. Choose accordingly.

Speak this three times in the morning when you rise and three times at night before you rest. Say it with intention, not just words. Let it shift your mindset and anchor your faith in your own journey.

Affirmation

"I release what I have built in unconsciousness. I now plant with purpose, with intention, and with the full knowing that my harvest begins with me."