Dear Aunty: How Do I Heal My Relationship With Money and Forgive Myself for All I Gave?
Dear Aunty
For this past half decade of my life, I have financially prioritized and cared for those around me. I gave out of love but I am now realizing that it was one sided. Slowly my debt grew while their comfort remained, and when I was drained no one was there to support me. I have just escaped this situation however the regret for it all still remains. I honestly feel stupid. How do I heal my relationship with finances as well as forgive myself for all I gave?
— Signed, The Generous One
Aunty's Response
Sweetheart, let me sit with you in this for a moment.
When we give from a genuine place of love — from truth, from sincerity — regret does not take up residence in our chest. So I need you to get honest with yourself about where that giving was actually coming from. Because what I hear in your letter is not the residue of love. What I hear is the residue of longing. You were not giving to love others. You were giving to be loved. To be accepted. To be cherished. To be chosen. And what you were really doing, sweetheart, was attempting to purchase what should have been freely given to you.
That is where the regret lives. Not in the giving — in the transaction.
There is no need to feel stupid. Every single one of us has, at some point, confused generosity with earning our place in someone's life. The desire to belong is one of the most human things that exists. But belonging that has to be bought is not belonging. It is pity dressed up as love. And you cannot build a life, a relationship, or a financial foundation on pity.
Here is what I need you to understand about your healing. Your relationship with your finances begins to mend the moment you recognize that this was a lesson — a costly one, yes, but a valuable one. At a young age, so many of us are taught, without words, that what we have determines what we are worth. We give what we have because we believe it makes us worthy of love. But your true worth was never in the account balance. Your true worth was in your capacity to sacrifice. That capacity is a gift. Healing my relationship with money was me forgiving myself for having a human experience that was needed, therefore no need to seek forgiveness!
You walked away from this situation with something that cannot be taken from you. You walked away knowing that you cannot purchase another person's love, attention, or affection. And more importantly, you walked away understanding this — if you are not willing to love yourself to the same degree you were willing to give to others, no one else will love you to that degree either.
Everything you poured out will return to you. But it will return when you return to yourself. Return to your worth. Return to your value. Return to your integrity. Understand that dignity and integrity are inseparable. You cannot carry one without the other. And the moment you stopped operating from integrity — the moment the giving became about filling a void rather than flowing from fullness — that is when it cost you.
That lesson is not a loss. That lesson is a foundation.
Now build on it.
— Aunty Charmaine
This content is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional for matters related to your health and wellbeing.
Soul Tribe Media | Soultribe.media | Sept 2026
Collective Soul Tribe Lesson
Soultribe, this one is for all of us.
How many of us have written checks with our hearts that our bank accounts could not cash? How many of us have poured from an empty vessel and then wondered why we felt so hollow? This week I need every single one of us to examine the giving in our lives — not just what we give, but why we give it.
Generosity rooted in love replenishes itself. Generosity rooted in fear depletes everything. The moment you begin to give from a place of wholeness rather than a place of longing, your finances, your relationships, and your sense of self will begin to shift in ways you cannot yet imagine.
You are not a resource to be depleted. You are a well that deserves to be filled. And it starts with deciding — right now, today — that your love, your time, your energy, and your money are sacred. Treat them accordingly.
"I have recognized true worth and blessings, both of which cannot be measured, as I am priceless."
Practice: Speak this proverb every morning before your feet hit the floor. Say it three times with intention. Let it remind you before the day begins that everything you are about to think, say, and do is a seed. Choose accordingly.
Speak this three times in the morning when you rise and three times at night before you rest. Say it with intention, not just words. Let it shift your mindset and anchor your faith in your own journey.
Affirmation
"I was created for such a time as this, my wealth flows to me gracefully and joyfully, all good things are open to me. So blessed be. (Repeat daily 8x — 8 is the numerology of money)"
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